More than 120,000 children die every year in the United States. One of the most important effects a parent can experience after a child’s death is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. It is a cluster of symptoms that occurs when a very traumatic incident occurs in a person’s life. This trauma can leave a person feeling powerless, victimized and emotionally, physically and mentally paralyzed.
Symptoms can include: sadness and depression, denial, shock, confusion, anger, irritability, inability to sleep, nightmares, loss of appetite, guilt over the failure to prevent the loss, loss of interest in daily activities, forgetfulness or apathy.
If you or someone you know is suffering from any of these symptoms, it could be PTSD and seeking counseling or psychotherapy is advised. Another way to get help is by joining support groups… a safe place where parents, siblings and grandparents can go and express their feelings and listen to how others have coped. This can be locally or nationally such as Compassionate Friends or Bereaved Parents USA. There are many specific groups such as Parents of Murdered Children, SIDS Alliance or Alive Alone for parents who have lost their only child. Other helpful things to do include: eating well, daily exercise, daily journaling and establishing new routines or hobbies.
The effects of PTSD can be subtle, or they can be apparent. They can include extreme mood swings; uncontrollable outbursts; irrational long-term fears; or physiological symptoms such as headaches, lethargy, digestive troubles, repetitive disturbing nightmares and a change in appetite. Self destructive behaviors such as using drugs or alcohol can also appear.
According to the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Alliance, recognizing PTSD includes identifying clusters of symptoms that have been present for a month or longer which cause severe problems or distress. Some of the indicators include:
*Reliving the event through nightmares or other uncontrollable thoughts. One can get heart palpitations, headaches or sweating.
*Avoidance of reminders of the event or death such as not going to places, seeing people or doing activities associated with the trauma.
*Sensitivity at all times, making it difficult to concentrate, work, sleep and increasing irritability, aggression, withdrawal or isolation.
Editor’s note: portions of this information gathered from the MISS Foundation who helps families through a variety of resources..
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Happy Mother's Day
Today is Mother’s Day and like all Mother’s Days since my daughter died, it is a very sad one. I always enjoyed celebrating with her, whether it was to go out to brunch or dinner, fix me breakfast in bed, or just opening presents from her and her dad.
First she would bug her Dad to death to make sure he got me something. He wasn’t very good at buying gifts but usually bought something for the kitchen, like a pot or pan, since he loved to eat! Marcy, on the other hand, usually liked to buy clothing for me. She never said it out loud, but I guessed there were some outfits I wore that she wished I would get rid of. That was okay. Whatever I received was great. I particularly loved the cards: from her Dad, a romantic one; and from her, a funny or cute one. Fortunately, I kept them all, so that I can, to this day, 18 years later, still look back at them.
This year we are invited to a friend’s house for a Mother’s Day brunch. I am looking forward to it. I really appreciate it when someone is thoughtful enough to know what a difficult day this is for bereaved mothers. In fact, I rank this day even harder than the holidays at the end of the year: Thanksgiving, Chanukah and Christmas.
My friend said, “I know this is a difficult day for you and some of my other friends can’t be with their loved ones, either because of living elsewhere or because of a death (whether it be a child or parent), so I just thought I’d invite all of you over for a few hours.”
My friend invited us a few years ago, and there were about 12 of us, all there for different reasons, but definitely, a compatible group. I’m sure today will be the same.
Also on this day, I usually hear from a few special people who realize how hard this day is. A couple of them knew Marcy and surprisingly, a few never met her and only knew her through me and what I’ve said over the years about her. But I can count on hearing from all of them and it really makes me feel so good.
After the brunch, my husband and I will take a trip to the cemetery so I can place flowers on my daughter’s grave. Even though he is not her father, he is always so thoughtful about trying to make this day easier for me.
For a bereaved parent, Mother’s Day is, and should always be, a day for quiet reflection and the sharing of cherished memories. I hope you are all lucky enough to have caring friends and relatives to share this day with you. And to all mothers, Happy Mother’s Day.
First she would bug her Dad to death to make sure he got me something. He wasn’t very good at buying gifts but usually bought something for the kitchen, like a pot or pan, since he loved to eat! Marcy, on the other hand, usually liked to buy clothing for me. She never said it out loud, but I guessed there were some outfits I wore that she wished I would get rid of. That was okay. Whatever I received was great. I particularly loved the cards: from her Dad, a romantic one; and from her, a funny or cute one. Fortunately, I kept them all, so that I can, to this day, 18 years later, still look back at them.
This year we are invited to a friend’s house for a Mother’s Day brunch. I am looking forward to it. I really appreciate it when someone is thoughtful enough to know what a difficult day this is for bereaved mothers. In fact, I rank this day even harder than the holidays at the end of the year: Thanksgiving, Chanukah and Christmas.
My friend said, “I know this is a difficult day for you and some of my other friends can’t be with their loved ones, either because of living elsewhere or because of a death (whether it be a child or parent), so I just thought I’d invite all of you over for a few hours.”
My friend invited us a few years ago, and there were about 12 of us, all there for different reasons, but definitely, a compatible group. I’m sure today will be the same.
Also on this day, I usually hear from a few special people who realize how hard this day is. A couple of them knew Marcy and surprisingly, a few never met her and only knew her through me and what I’ve said over the years about her. But I can count on hearing from all of them and it really makes me feel so good.
After the brunch, my husband and I will take a trip to the cemetery so I can place flowers on my daughter’s grave. Even though he is not her father, he is always so thoughtful about trying to make this day easier for me.
For a bereaved parent, Mother’s Day is, and should always be, a day for quiet reflection and the sharing of cherished memories. I hope you are all lucky enough to have caring friends and relatives to share this day with you. And to all mothers, Happy Mother’s Day.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
The Blessing of a Broken Heart
Sheri Mandell has written a book of spiritual healing, “The Blessing of a Broken Heart,” the story of her young son’s stoning death by Palestinians in Israel in 2004. It is her story and how she was able to survive that terrible day when he was found dead, along with his friend, in a cave near the mountains they lived by. The book has become a play and the one woman show came to a theater in my hometown. I was told by a friend not to miss it, and since I am interested in all things related to a child’s death and the parent’s survival, I went to see it. It is a hard play to say you ‘enjoy.’ No one can even imagine a child being bludgeoned to death, but we know that when God closes one door, he opens another, as I will explain.
Sherri married an Orthodox Jewish rabbi, and moved to Israel, where she fell in love with the land and its people. Her son, Koby, had ditched school that day with his friend and they went into the mountains, where, before that day, he had always been safe playing. Why they decided to ditch school that day, no one will ever know, and why this happened to them will always be another unanswered question. But it did happen and Sheri thought at first, like we all do, that she would never survive her son’s death.
But hope, determination, her love of God, and the will to survive helped herself, husband and other children through the tragedy as it eventually does to most of us. We will never forget our children, but we can do things in their memory and to always remember with love. For Sheri, she eventually noticed that because she lived in an area of the world that was always under siege where no one was safe from terrorism, there were many children who had lost parents in these wars, and many parents who had lost children. She was able to start a foundation which runs healing programs for families that have been directly affected by terror in Israel, having lost an immediate family member to a terrorist attack or an act of war. The foundation sponsors Camp Koby, its flagship program, for children who have lost a parent or a sibling in an act of terror in addition to Mothers’ Healing Retreats for women bereaved by terrorist violence and similar retreats for widows who have lost a husband to terror of war. The site is www.kobymandell.org . Her blessing: to move on with her life and do good things in her child’s honor.
The play brought back many of the same feelings I had after losing my daughter, and I felt I could identify with her feelings of frustration as to why this happened to her and to her son. It was a senseless tragedy as was my daughter being killed by an impaired driver. I would encourage you to get a copy of the book (same title as the play) and read Sherri’s story.
The book has won a National Jewish book award and translated into three languages. Sherri has also won many other awards for her writings and speaks around the world on grief, bereavement and healing. She continues to live with her husband and other children in Israel, where she also teaches writing and works as a pastoral counselor.
Sherri married an Orthodox Jewish rabbi, and moved to Israel, where she fell in love with the land and its people. Her son, Koby, had ditched school that day with his friend and they went into the mountains, where, before that day, he had always been safe playing. Why they decided to ditch school that day, no one will ever know, and why this happened to them will always be another unanswered question. But it did happen and Sheri thought at first, like we all do, that she would never survive her son’s death.
But hope, determination, her love of God, and the will to survive helped herself, husband and other children through the tragedy as it eventually does to most of us. We will never forget our children, but we can do things in their memory and to always remember with love. For Sheri, she eventually noticed that because she lived in an area of the world that was always under siege where no one was safe from terrorism, there were many children who had lost parents in these wars, and many parents who had lost children. She was able to start a foundation which runs healing programs for families that have been directly affected by terror in Israel, having lost an immediate family member to a terrorist attack or an act of war. The foundation sponsors Camp Koby, its flagship program, for children who have lost a parent or a sibling in an act of terror in addition to Mothers’ Healing Retreats for women bereaved by terrorist violence and similar retreats for widows who have lost a husband to terror of war. The site is www.kobymandell.org . Her blessing: to move on with her life and do good things in her child’s honor.
The play brought back many of the same feelings I had after losing my daughter, and I felt I could identify with her feelings of frustration as to why this happened to her and to her son. It was a senseless tragedy as was my daughter being killed by an impaired driver. I would encourage you to get a copy of the book (same title as the play) and read Sherri’s story.
The book has won a National Jewish book award and translated into three languages. Sherri has also won many other awards for her writings and speaks around the world on grief, bereavement and healing. She continues to live with her husband and other children in Israel, where she also teaches writing and works as a pastoral counselor.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
The Heart Remembers Always
And when we have remembered everything
We grow afraid of what we may forget.
A face, a voice, a smile.
A birthday? An anniversary?
No need to fear forgetting because
The heart remembers always.
How true this phrase is! I will never forget anything about my daughter.
I bet you remember your child’s firsts: first birthday, first nail polish, first lipstick, first date, first haircut, first day of school, and all the honors, awards, sports activities, favorite movies, favorite songs, best photo, best year and so on….
You will always remember the child’s laugh, how stubborn they were, their first birthday, their marriage day, their honeymoon, and on and on…
When you sit down and think about it, so many things come to mind, the majority of them fond memories and a few you just shake your head, but they are still memories you want to keep forever.
You never have to be afraid of forgetting these memories because you delight in them, they remind you of all the love you felt for your child, and their stories are things you can always share with others: adventure stories, funny stories, sad stories, scary stories and emotional stories.
A few of my remembrances:
My daughter’s first birthday. A first birthday is special. I had a small party, invited a few friends over. Presents were opened, but I realized my daughter had no clue what was going on and why she was getting these gifts. I vowed that I would continue the parties and that by 2-years-old she would understand everything. She did, and until she was 19 years old and moved out, I continued having parties and they got bigger and better. It was a fun time, and I even remember the themes of most of them which we tried to change each year. In a way I carry on that tradition now. My husband and I have an anniversary party each year and invite all our friends. Each year we have a different theme and different ethnic foods to eat.
I remember the first time I heard my daughter sing. I could not carry a tune and never tried to sing myself or asked her to sing, believing it was hereditary. One time she came home and told me she got a singing part in a play. I said, “What! But can you sing?” “Of course, I can,” she answered me and was pretty insulted I had even asked. She was right, and I was so proud of her when she sang her part at the end of the year grammar school play.
One thing I always remember is how much we both liked to get our backs scratched. We would take turns at night sitting in front of the TV scratching each other. It was so relaxing. Boy, do I miss that. Nobody scratches like she did!
Have I forgotten what her voice sounds like? NEVER! I am reminded of her voice when I look at a picture of her, when I replay her wedding video once a year, when I read a card she sent me for a birthday with something meaningful written in her handwriting, and when I hear myself say something she would have said. It is the strangest thing to hear yourself say a phrase that you would never think would come from your own mouth. But there it is, and I just smile and shake my head unbelievingly.
It is wonderful knowing she is always with me and that I will never, ever forget her beautiful face, features, smile, laugh, or anything about her. And you won’t forget your child and everything about them either.
We grow afraid of what we may forget.
A face, a voice, a smile.
A birthday? An anniversary?
No need to fear forgetting because
The heart remembers always.
How true this phrase is! I will never forget anything about my daughter.
I bet you remember your child’s firsts: first birthday, first nail polish, first lipstick, first date, first haircut, first day of school, and all the honors, awards, sports activities, favorite movies, favorite songs, best photo, best year and so on….
You will always remember the child’s laugh, how stubborn they were, their first birthday, their marriage day, their honeymoon, and on and on…
When you sit down and think about it, so many things come to mind, the majority of them fond memories and a few you just shake your head, but they are still memories you want to keep forever.
You never have to be afraid of forgetting these memories because you delight in them, they remind you of all the love you felt for your child, and their stories are things you can always share with others: adventure stories, funny stories, sad stories, scary stories and emotional stories.
A few of my remembrances:
My daughter’s first birthday. A first birthday is special. I had a small party, invited a few friends over. Presents were opened, but I realized my daughter had no clue what was going on and why she was getting these gifts. I vowed that I would continue the parties and that by 2-years-old she would understand everything. She did, and until she was 19 years old and moved out, I continued having parties and they got bigger and better. It was a fun time, and I even remember the themes of most of them which we tried to change each year. In a way I carry on that tradition now. My husband and I have an anniversary party each year and invite all our friends. Each year we have a different theme and different ethnic foods to eat.
I remember the first time I heard my daughter sing. I could not carry a tune and never tried to sing myself or asked her to sing, believing it was hereditary. One time she came home and told me she got a singing part in a play. I said, “What! But can you sing?” “Of course, I can,” she answered me and was pretty insulted I had even asked. She was right, and I was so proud of her when she sang her part at the end of the year grammar school play.
One thing I always remember is how much we both liked to get our backs scratched. We would take turns at night sitting in front of the TV scratching each other. It was so relaxing. Boy, do I miss that. Nobody scratches like she did!
Have I forgotten what her voice sounds like? NEVER! I am reminded of her voice when I look at a picture of her, when I replay her wedding video once a year, when I read a card she sent me for a birthday with something meaningful written in her handwriting, and when I hear myself say something she would have said. It is the strangest thing to hear yourself say a phrase that you would never think would come from your own mouth. But there it is, and I just smile and shake my head unbelievingly.
It is wonderful knowing she is always with me and that I will never, ever forget her beautiful face, features, smile, laugh, or anything about her. And you won’t forget your child and everything about them either.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Not Leading a Grief Stricken Life
A sentence I read recently hit home for me and I hope for you. “Even though we will forever grieve the deaths of our children, it doesn’t mean we need to lead a grief stricken life.”
We need to have hope and have goals. We need to find something to fill our time, our mind and our days. One friend said to me, “I know you have found what you want to do with your life and you’re doing it by helping others through your writings, speaking at conferences and talking to bereaved parents and particularly listening to bereaved parents. But it’s been three years for me, and I am still looking for something to make me feel my life can be worthwhile again.”
It’s true; I have found what makes me happy. For others it can take a long time, even more than three years. You may stumble and fall a few times, but once you find ‘it,’ you’ll know it’s right; you’ll feel it in your bones and in your heart. Don’t try to bury your pain through violence, drinking, taking drugs or any other kind of destructive behavior. You can not live like that forever and burying your pain only creates more pain. Confronting your pain and working on healing will lessen it and better your life. This is not an easy task, but it can be done. Push yourself and keep trying and one day it will happen.
And your child will be proud of you, no matter how little or big that something is you decide is right for you. Your life will have meaning again and you can smile. It will not ever be the same as it was when your child was alive, but it will be a “new normal” for you and everyone around you.
One gal I know made a conscious decision to train as a volunteer for the New Hope Foundation to help those families move on with their lives. She enjoys their meetings, helping out where needed and talking to the parents and others in the families.
A gentleman found that working with his church has helped him to heal. His child attended church every week and was active in the teen programs. She could never convince her dad to be very active in church activities before her death but now he finds it comforting to both pray every week and do the things that his child can no longer do. He does them in her honor, in her memory and because it makes him feel close to her.
Still another father, who is well-known in the bereavement community and speaks at conferences, will never leave his home unless he is wearing one of the bandanas that his son always wore. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him without one on. Not only does this make him feel close to his son, but in volunteering at bereavement conferences, he finds that he can talk about his son and people want to listen to learn of the relationship they had with each other.
Think of positive ways to express the grief that will always be with you, and you will find that it will help both you and others.
We need to have hope and have goals. We need to find something to fill our time, our mind and our days. One friend said to me, “I know you have found what you want to do with your life and you’re doing it by helping others through your writings, speaking at conferences and talking to bereaved parents and particularly listening to bereaved parents. But it’s been three years for me, and I am still looking for something to make me feel my life can be worthwhile again.”
It’s true; I have found what makes me happy. For others it can take a long time, even more than three years. You may stumble and fall a few times, but once you find ‘it,’ you’ll know it’s right; you’ll feel it in your bones and in your heart. Don’t try to bury your pain through violence, drinking, taking drugs or any other kind of destructive behavior. You can not live like that forever and burying your pain only creates more pain. Confronting your pain and working on healing will lessen it and better your life. This is not an easy task, but it can be done. Push yourself and keep trying and one day it will happen.
And your child will be proud of you, no matter how little or big that something is you decide is right for you. Your life will have meaning again and you can smile. It will not ever be the same as it was when your child was alive, but it will be a “new normal” for you and everyone around you.
One gal I know made a conscious decision to train as a volunteer for the New Hope Foundation to help those families move on with their lives. She enjoys their meetings, helping out where needed and talking to the parents and others in the families.
A gentleman found that working with his church has helped him to heal. His child attended church every week and was active in the teen programs. She could never convince her dad to be very active in church activities before her death but now he finds it comforting to both pray every week and do the things that his child can no longer do. He does them in her honor, in her memory and because it makes him feel close to her.
Still another father, who is well-known in the bereavement community and speaks at conferences, will never leave his home unless he is wearing one of the bandanas that his son always wore. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him without one on. Not only does this make him feel close to his son, but in volunteering at bereavement conferences, he finds that he can talk about his son and people want to listen to learn of the relationship they had with each other.
Think of positive ways to express the grief that will always be with you, and you will find that it will help both you and others.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Do/Do Not Do List
This week I am going to borrow a do/not to do list from a Bereaved Parent USA chapter member, Doris Jackson of Indiana, (later re-printed in the Alive Alone newsletter), who very simply has said many of the same things I have in many blogs, but does so very concisely. It is something that you can show friends and relatives and hopefully, they will learn some very important lessons that all bereaved parents already know. Here is her reason for writing this and her list:
“I once had a very close relative say to me, ‘There’s really nothing you can do when someone dies.’ Of course, this was said to me very shortly after my son had died, and I was in shock; shocked that someone would look me in the face and say those horrible words, and shocked that I couldn’t even come back with a reply.” So even though it has taken me awhile, I have compiled the following list for families and friends of the bereaved.
Be patient with us. Our lives have totally changed.
Don’t forget us, one, two, three, four or even five years down the road.
We will never forget their death date, birthday or special occasion.
Try not to be offended if we don’t
Laugh as much as we used to
Don’t want to go out as much as we used to
Don’t feel comfortable in crowds
Are no longer the life of the party
Need to be around other people who have lost children
Do support us by:
Talk about our kids; we love to hear their names.
Support us on our walks, golf scrambles, motorcycle rides or whichever way we choose to honor our child.
Remember us at the Holiday season. They are hard for us.
Ask us how we are doing. Just be sincere when you ask.
Send us cards or pictures of our kids.
Tell us stories about them that make us happy and smile.
Let us talk about our children. Don’t let us hear that stone-cold silence when we mention their name.
Love us just where we are today.
“I once had a very close relative say to me, ‘There’s really nothing you can do when someone dies.’ Of course, this was said to me very shortly after my son had died, and I was in shock; shocked that someone would look me in the face and say those horrible words, and shocked that I couldn’t even come back with a reply.” So even though it has taken me awhile, I have compiled the following list for families and friends of the bereaved.
Be patient with us. Our lives have totally changed.
Don’t forget us, one, two, three, four or even five years down the road.
We will never forget their death date, birthday or special occasion.
Try not to be offended if we don’t
Laugh as much as we used to
Don’t want to go out as much as we used to
Don’t feel comfortable in crowds
Are no longer the life of the party
Need to be around other people who have lost children
Do support us by:
Talk about our kids; we love to hear their names.
Support us on our walks, golf scrambles, motorcycle rides or whichever way we choose to honor our child.
Remember us at the Holiday season. They are hard for us.
Ask us how we are doing. Just be sincere when you ask.
Send us cards or pictures of our kids.
Tell us stories about them that make us happy and smile.
Let us talk about our children. Don’t let us hear that stone-cold silence when we mention their name.
Love us just where we are today.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Conferences This Season
This year holds a lot of promise for some wonderful gatherings for bereaved parents. I know some parents are newly bereaved this year and would like to know of these conferences, and others who are interested just need reminding of these events. I start off with information on two new conferences and websites for you to check out the other three national events.
The Western Pennsylvania Regional Conference
The theme “Treasured Memories,” will be held April 20-21 in Meadville, PA. Regional conferences are more affordable for those who would like to go but can’t afford the national conferences. You have the opportunity to share an intimate time with families going through the grief process.
Keynote speakers include TCF Executive Director Patricia Loder, Carla Blowey, author of Dreaming Kevin; The Path to Healing, and Lillian Meyers, PhD, FT, a bereaved parent and licensed clinical psychologist, certified grief counselor and a Fellow in Thanatology. Planned are eight sharing sessions and 12 workshops. There will be picture boards, a butterfly table with a variety of items available for purchase.
Registration fee for the conference is $50 which includes all materials, entrance to all workshops, sharing sessions, break time refreshments and a buffet luncheon. Days Inn has special rates. For more information, contact Ralph and Norma McClay at rcorvette@windstream.net
Ohio Conference: Changing Colors of Grief
If you live in Carey, Ohio, or anywhere in Ohio, Indiana, Michigan or anywhere in the Midwest and don’t have much time off work, this conference might be for you. It will be a one day Saturday event held at Basilica and National Shrine of Our Lady of Consolation. Registration by Sept. 15 is $15 or $20 if received later. Final registration is due Monday, Oct. 8.
Keynote speaker will be Joyce Harvey, who has done seminars for Now Childless conferences, Bereaved Parents USA, Compassionate Friends and is a motivational speaker by profession. Joyce’s only child, Jennifer, died of suicide while in the Marine Corps in 1995. She is the author of “I’m Fine. I’m With the Angels and a contributing author to “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series.
There will be one breakout session in the morning to choose either Anticipatory Grief, Your Funeral Rights, Child/Teen Grief or Men and Women Grief. The afternoon breakout choices are Ambiguous/Disenfranchised Grief, After the Rites, Violent/Sudden Loss or Grief/Depression. Each session will have different speakers.
Overnight Accommodations are available by contacting Brother Randy at 419-396-7970. Complete registration forms and questions are available by contacting Germaine Kirk at 419-224-6711, ext. 431 or email gkird@toledodiocese.org
BPUSA National Gathering (Bereaved Parents USA)
June 29-July 1, 2012, in Tampa Bay, FL. See their website for more information
http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/
35th National TCF (Compassionate Friends Conference combined with the 5th International Gathering of Compassionate Friends
July 20-22 in Costa Mesa, CA at the Hilton Orange County/Costa Mesa Hotel. See the website for additional information: http://www.compassionatefriends.org/
26th National POMC Conference (Parents of Murdered Children)
August 9-12 in Phoenix, AZ at the Arizona Grand Resort. Contact beckierose@aol.com or call 602-254-8818 with question. You can also look on the www.pomc.org web site.
Additional info
Compassionate Friends is now making it possible for everyone to get a free online subscription to their national magazine We Need Not Walk Alone with many helpful articles on surviving the death of a child. All you have to do is go to www.compassionatefriends.org, click on “sign up for national publications” near the top of any page and fill out the subscription form. Then you will get a link each time it is published that you can open on your computer and read online or download for personal use.
If you can not attend the TCF national conference, you can still purchase a momento called “Remembrance of Love.” It is the picture of your child with this year’s national conference logo attached to a heart made out of stainless steel. Donation for this is $10 plus $5 shipping.
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The Western Pennsylvania Regional Conference
The theme “Treasured Memories,” will be held April 20-21 in Meadville, PA. Regional conferences are more affordable for those who would like to go but can’t afford the national conferences. You have the opportunity to share an intimate time with families going through the grief process.
Keynote speakers include TCF Executive Director Patricia Loder, Carla Blowey, author of Dreaming Kevin; The Path to Healing, and Lillian Meyers, PhD, FT, a bereaved parent and licensed clinical psychologist, certified grief counselor and a Fellow in Thanatology. Planned are eight sharing sessions and 12 workshops. There will be picture boards, a butterfly table with a variety of items available for purchase.
Registration fee for the conference is $50 which includes all materials, entrance to all workshops, sharing sessions, break time refreshments and a buffet luncheon. Days Inn has special rates. For more information, contact Ralph and Norma McClay at rcorvette@windstream.net
Ohio Conference: Changing Colors of Grief
If you live in Carey, Ohio, or anywhere in Ohio, Indiana, Michigan or anywhere in the Midwest and don’t have much time off work, this conference might be for you. It will be a one day Saturday event held at Basilica and National Shrine of Our Lady of Consolation. Registration by Sept. 15 is $15 or $20 if received later. Final registration is due Monday, Oct. 8.
Keynote speaker will be Joyce Harvey, who has done seminars for Now Childless conferences, Bereaved Parents USA, Compassionate Friends and is a motivational speaker by profession. Joyce’s only child, Jennifer, died of suicide while in the Marine Corps in 1995. She is the author of “I’m Fine. I’m With the Angels and a contributing author to “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series.
There will be one breakout session in the morning to choose either Anticipatory Grief, Your Funeral Rights, Child/Teen Grief or Men and Women Grief. The afternoon breakout choices are Ambiguous/Disenfranchised Grief, After the Rites, Violent/Sudden Loss or Grief/Depression. Each session will have different speakers.
Overnight Accommodations are available by contacting Brother Randy at 419-396-7970. Complete registration forms and questions are available by contacting Germaine Kirk at 419-224-6711, ext. 431 or email gkird@toledodiocese.org
BPUSA National Gathering (Bereaved Parents USA)
June 29-July 1, 2012, in Tampa Bay, FL. See their website for more information
http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/
35th National TCF (Compassionate Friends Conference combined with the 5th International Gathering of Compassionate Friends
July 20-22 in Costa Mesa, CA at the Hilton Orange County/Costa Mesa Hotel. See the website for additional information: http://www.compassionatefriends.org/
26th National POMC Conference (Parents of Murdered Children)
August 9-12 in Phoenix, AZ at the Arizona Grand Resort. Contact beckierose@aol.com or call 602-254-8818 with question. You can also look on the www.pomc.org web site.
Additional info
Compassionate Friends is now making it possible for everyone to get a free online subscription to their national magazine We Need Not Walk Alone with many helpful articles on surviving the death of a child. All you have to do is go to www.compassionatefriends.org, click on “sign up for national publications” near the top of any page and fill out the subscription form. Then you will get a link each time it is published that you can open on your computer and read online or download for personal use.
If you can not attend the TCF national conference, you can still purchase a momento called “Remembrance of Love.” It is the picture of your child with this year’s national conference logo attached to a heart made out of stainless steel. Donation for this is $10 plus $5 shipping.
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